i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
