New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
