Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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