Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.

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  (425): my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me. http://tfl.nu/ks5k
  Replies (22) Good night (900) Bad night (5596)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

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  (585): i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in" http://tfl.nu/uuti
  Replies (6) Good night (4548) Bad night (1558)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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  (516): i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik. http://tfl.nu/oo49
  Replies (14) Good night (4316) Bad night (1068)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?

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  (740): I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign? http://tfl.nu/ahav
  Replies (8) Good night (3797) Bad night (994)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...

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  (781): I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet... http://tfl.nu/t0x0
  Replies (7) Good night (1215) Bad night (3627)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.

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  (804): I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/q9i5
  Replies (8) Good night (1292) Bad night (3016)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol

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  (917): Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol http://tfl.nu/po2q
  Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (1538)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose

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  (817): Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose http://tfl.nu/bx5q
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (902)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.

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  (845): Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8wnm
  Replies (6) Good night (715) Bad night (1176)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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  (817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (1072)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...

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  (859): Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS... http://tfl.nu/5739
  Replies (8) Good night (1099) Bad night (503)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest

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  (402): Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest http://tfl.nu/bslf
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (329)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?

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  (303): He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery? http://tfl.nu/y325
  Replies (10) Good night (463) Bad night (842)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?

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  (613): Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower? http://tfl.nu/hj3e
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (750)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.

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  (505): No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back. http://tfl.nu/rjsp
  Replies (0) Good night (117) Bad night (284)

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