Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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  (724): i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it... http://tfl.nu/6i0l
  Replies (12) Good night (1183) Bad night (3765)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...

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  (320): im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it... http://tfl.nu/g5dr
  Replies (14) Good night (5674) Bad night (817)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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  (609): girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her. http://tfl.nu/7glm
  Replies (15) Good night (4709) Bad night (1536)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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  (201): He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me. http://tfl.nu/n6mr
  Replies (12) Good night (6543) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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  (239): you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now. http://tfl.nu/uslm
  Replies (1) Good night (2993) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.

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  (312): Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture. http://tfl.nu/p8k2
  Replies (5) Good night (2852) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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  (360): It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink? http://tfl.nu/zyp6
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (1543)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.

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  (815): I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room. http://tfl.nu/691w
  Replies (5) Good night (1336) Bad night (855)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now

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  (541): It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now http://tfl.nu/avxl
  Replies (7) Good night (898) Bad night (929)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.

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  (360): So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five. http://tfl.nu/vwra
  Replies (8) Good night (2482) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1492) Bad night (615)
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  (619): View more from California

  Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.

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  (619): Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/87wg
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

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  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
  Replies (7) Good night (1087) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here

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  (618): Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here http://tfl.nu/y9wz
  Replies (6) Good night (463) Bad night (257)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I

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  (214): This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I http://tfl.nu/v4qv
  Replies (7) Good night (403) Bad night (221)

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