I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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