Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  No - puma.

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  (650): PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar? (773): No - puma. http://tfl.nu/r06a
  Replies (8) Good night (1687) Bad night (479)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?

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  (313): I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can? http://tfl.nu/psgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (496)
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  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
  Replies (33) Good night (2465) Bad night (1094)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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  (717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59
  Replies (18) Good night (1128) Bad night (5076)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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  (413): Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist. http://tfl.nu/vfvp
  Replies (33) Good night (5632) Bad night (1425)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.

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  (541): You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were. http://tfl.nu/i5vx
  Replies (5) Good night (5904) Bad night (1453)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He passed out mid-signature

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  (816): He passed out mid-signature http://tfl.nu/lnp2
  Replies (4) Good night (3998) Bad night (1190)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on

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  (915): like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on http://tfl.nu/aizw
  Replies (7) Good night (4364) Bad night (961)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...

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  (412): I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student... http://tfl.nu/ab9h
  Replies (25) Good night (6024) Bad night (1839)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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  (604): Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him. http://tfl.nu/v9q2
  Replies (16) Good night (4166) Bad night (1050)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

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  (713): Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night. http://tfl.nu/wvak
  Replies (9) Good night (4273) Bad night (744)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Found the puke drawer

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  (910): Found the puke drawer http://tfl.nu/lcvb
  Replies (6) Good night (477) Bad night (1726)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.

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  (774): I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time. http://tfl.nu/evoy
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (238)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.

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  (256): Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life. http://tfl.nu/gj8o
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (308)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?

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  (509): I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right? http://tfl.nu/yvyh
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (671)

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