Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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  (207): saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow. (513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single. http://tfl.nu/mtqr
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (1144)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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  (417): I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka (479): I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once http://tfl.nu/xq51
  Replies (10) Good night (6066) Bad night (909)
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  (914): View more from New York

  she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

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  (914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw
  Replies (20) Good night (1362) Bad night (4192)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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  (410): Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever. http://tfl.nu/6xdo
  Replies (15) Good night (5043) Bad night (1000)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

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  (717): RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea? http://tfl.nu/y40i
  Replies (46) Good night (1422) Bad night (7765)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.

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  (215): Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing. http://tfl.nu/dzgt
  Replies (48) Good night (12871) Bad night (1722)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.

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  (772): He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days. http://tfl.nu/gr0g
  Replies (14) Good night (1637) Bad night (2369)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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  (+44): Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS. http://tfl.nu/15we
  Replies (16) Good night (1684) Bad night (3428)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon

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  (210): i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon http://tfl.nu/oe7m
  Replies (4) Good night (1710) Bad night (916)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.

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  (780): So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/v5ij
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (1409)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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  (248): We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens http://tfl.nu/5a7g
  Replies (18) Good night (2184) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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  (515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i
  Replies (6) Good night (1105) Bad night (378)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.

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  (775): Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car. http://tfl.nu/cx3f
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (392)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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  (860): Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what http://tfl.nu/zlfv
  Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (264)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.

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  (340): Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly. http://tfl.nu/jqvi
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (204)

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