Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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  (425): i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is.... http://tfl.nu/ar6t
  Replies (36) Good night (3117) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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  (858): i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth http://tfl.nu/1tze
  Replies (11) Good night (968) Bad night (2694)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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  (806): Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients http://tfl.nu/si73
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (2816)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.

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  (618): Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window. http://tfl.nu/h7i3
  Replies (22) Good night (1200) Bad night (4107)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.

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  (614): There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out. http://tfl.nu/1cqt
  Replies (6) Good night (2363) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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  (570): why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lm3z
  Replies (8) Good night (928) Bad night (2419)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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  (716): i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me http://tfl.nu/peek
  Replies (9) Good night (3403) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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  (573): Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos. http://tfl.nu/hx66
  Replies (18) Good night (2547) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom

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  (703): I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom http://tfl.nu/16e5
  Replies (5) Good night (595) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.

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  (224): Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time. http://tfl.nu/eicx
  Replies (6) Good night (1055) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.

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  (978): I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors. http://tfl.nu/8d4k
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo

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  (203): Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo http://tfl.nu/o8no
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

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  (925): Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex http://tfl.nu/xxak
  Replies (1) Good night (1052) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Cheese only

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  (606): Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort. (606): Cheese only http://tfl.nu/r3u9
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (207)

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