2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Your shirt... Was in my pants