I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.