Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.