Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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