it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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