I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
