Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize