worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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