hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Everyone says I win the strip club
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
