Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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