You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
