So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
