I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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