Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
