Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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