I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you never un-have a 4some
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
