If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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