my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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