Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A bitchslap is in order.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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