y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
