he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
