The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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