I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
