shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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