Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
