Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
