It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When did angry sex become our thing?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
