i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize