Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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