Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
