apparently the secret to your success is patron
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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