how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
