no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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