one two three fourrrrnication!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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