I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
