Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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