I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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