Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
