Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
