i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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