Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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