Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
