lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
