She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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