Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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