I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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