I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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