why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
