i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
