I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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