he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
