hotel room ftw
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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