pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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