I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
