she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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