Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
