So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
