Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
