I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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