I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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