they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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